The Way Back Home Read online

  “You hungry? Dinner might be a few minutes, but we can get you a snack,” George said.

  “I’m good.”

  His gaze moved toward the kitchen. Alicia threw some spaghetti into a pot, and the steam made her blond hair curl. She was thinner than he remembered, more fragile, with a weary set to her shoulders, as if she had the whole world weighing her down.

  “Alicia didn’t mean what she said earlier,” George said abruptly.

  Gabe glanced at Alicia’s father, who had muted the television. “I understand why she said what she did.”

  “She misses Rob. We all do. It’s hard not to blame someone.”

  “I miss him, too,” he said heavily.

  “Alicia and Rob were so close. They knew what the other was going to say before they said it. She felt his death in a way that I can’t even imagine. You got any brothers?”

  “No, but I considered Rob to be one.”

  “He felt the same way about you. He talked about you and the other guys in his unit every time he came home. I never understood why he wanted to fight, but I was proud of him. Proud of all of you.” George coughed, clearing his throat. “Never thought I’d lose my son.” He shook his head, his lips tight, as he struggled for composure. “But he was doing what he wanted to do. I find some peace in that.”

  A minute or two passed in silence. Then Gabe drew in a breath, deciding that it was time to let George know about his plans. “Rob told me about some of the problems you’ve had to deal with since your accident. He was very concerned and eager to get home in a way I’d never seen with him before. You were both on his mind a lot. Rob gave me the keys to his house. He asked me to come here and help out with the business or anything else you need. I promised him that I would, and I’d like to keep that promise.”

  George stared back at him thoughtfully. “Rob knew he was going to die?”

  The question took Gabe back to that moment when he and Rob had realized the unimaginable truth. He’d tried to fight reality far longer than Rob had, making up stories about how everything would work out. Rob had let him talk. He’d even offered up a feeble joke, saying that was the best bullshit he’d ever heard from Gabe.

  The knot in his throat grew larger at the memory, choking him with a pain he wasn’t sure would ever go away. As the seconds ticked by, he realized that George was still waiting for an answer. “Yes,” he said, meeting the older man’s gaze. “Rob knew he was going to die. He wanted me to make sure you knew how much he loved you.”

  “You need to tell Alicia that.”

  “I will … when she’s in the mood to listen.”

  “It’s been difficult for us to grasp what happened, being so far away and all. It didn’t seem real. Rob’s body came back in a closed casket. We never saw him.”

  “You can remember him the way he was.”

  “That’s how I want to remember him. Rob was always laughing, happy, optimistic. Never gave up on anything or anyone.” George took a moment, then added, “We could use some help around here. I’ve been laid up this year and haven’t been able to run the business the way I used to. I was counting on Rob to help us get back on our feet. Alicia can’t do it by herself. And she has Justin to worry about.”

  “Then I hope you’ll let me help. Of course, I’ll be happy to give the house back when I move on. I know it belongs to your family.”

  “The house belonged to Rob; it was his to do with as he pleased. Maybe you’ll decide to stay on. River Rock isn’t a bad place to live. Our family settled here almost a hundred years ago, you know.”

  He had known, and he’d never been able to imagine having roots that went that deep.

  “My great-great-grandfather built this house, and my grandfather built Rob’s house. My uncle built another house about a mile away that my nephew lives in.”

  Gabe couldn’t help wondering why Alicia didn’t have her own place, but that was a question he’d save for another day. As George rattled off more family history, Gabe’s attention returned to Alicia. She looked up and caught him staring. She held his gaze for a moment, her beautiful blue eyes begging him to leave. But he couldn’t give her what she wanted—not yet, anyway.

  Getting to his feet, he told George, “I’m going to see if Alicia needs any help.”

  As he walked into the kitchen, she frowned. “I wish you’d leave. You’re going to make things more difficult.”

  “That’s not my intention.”

  “It wasn’t your intention the last time you came here, either.”

  “If I hurt you …”

  “If you hurt me?” she echoed. “Is there really any doubt in your mind?”

  “I had to leave, Alicia. I had commitments. You knew that—”

  She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “I’m not talking about any of that now.”

  “You’re the one who brought up the past.”

  “And now I’m done.” The doorbell rang, and relief flashed across her face. “That’s Keith—my boyfriend,” she said, stumbling a little over the word.

  “Rob told me about him. He wanted me to check him out.”

  Her gaze narrowed. “Keith is a great guy. He’s a teacher at the high school and a single dad. He’s wonderful.”

  “Maybe I’ll think so, too, if you ever let him in,” Gabe said as the doorbell rang again.

  Two

  Gabe followed Alicia to the door, both curious and reluctant to meet the man. He actually didn’t know as much about Keith as he’d implied. He’d always cut Rob off whenever Alicia’s love life came up; he couldn’t stand hearing about her being with another man. Now he was going to have to actually talk to the guy.

  Alicia flung open the door, and a tall, lean man in his mid-thirties walked into the room. Keith had light brown hair and friendly hazel-colored eyes. Wearing tan slacks and a button-down shirt, he looked like a man who probably spent more time indoors than out. Next to him was a boy about Justin’s age, who immediately ran off to find Justin.

  Alicia grabbed Keith’s hand. “I’m so glad you could come,” she said. “This is Gabe Ryder, one of my brother’s friends. Gabe, this is Keith Andrews.”

  Keith extended his hand with a warm smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Alicia used to read me e-mails from her brother detailing all of your exploits.”

  “I’m sure Rob exaggerated,” he said.

  “I wish I’d had a chance to meet him,” Keith said. “He sounded like a hell of a guy.”

  Alicia cleared her throat. “Dinner is almost ready. I hope you’re hungry.”

  “Starving,” Keith replied. “I just need to wash my hands. I encountered a leaky gas pump while I was filling up the car.”

  “Make yourself at home,” she said with a wave of her hand. “You know where things are.”

  As Keith headed down the hall to the bathroom, Gabe said, “So, that’s Keith.”

  “That’s him.” She folded her arms across her waist. “He’s a good guy, reliable, caring, kind, generous.”

  “I wouldn’t want any less for you.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you want. It’s my life. I need to get dinner on the table. After that, I hope you’ll say good-bye.”

  She could hope all she wanted, but he had no intention of saying good-bye until he’d done what he’d come to do.

  Justin and David dominated the dinner conversation with chatter about school, Boy Scouts, and the upcoming baseball season. Alicia was glad not to have to contribute anything. Ever since Gabe had appeared, she’d felt off balance. She’d been prepared to see him at the funeral, but when he didn’t come, she’d thought that was it—she’d never see him again. She wasn’t ready to deal with him now.

  She darted a sideways glance at him, saw him watching her, and quickly averted her gaze. Gabe had always had a way of looking at her that made her breath catch and her heart beat a little faster. She’d thought she’d put him out of her head years ago. But here in the flesh, he was impossible to ignore. Lifting her gaze, she wa
s relieved to see his attention focused on her father and gave herself a minute to study him more closely.

  Gabe was a little taller than Keith, broader in the shoulders, and as fit as a man could be. His hair was longer than the almost-shaved cut he’d had three years ago. Since leaving the Corps, he’d let his hair grow, and she liked the longer look on him. She noted the new scar along his jawline and another one by his chin. They did nothing to mar the rough beauty of his face, the strength of his bones, the power in his dark eyes. Her gaze drifted down across his broad chest. She’d rested her head on that chest, and she knew what lay beneath the T-shirt: flat, muscled abs. The memory made her gut clench.

  She’d been attracted to Gabe from the first second she’d seen him. After they’d flirted for three days, their first kiss had been explosive. Gabe had pushed her away, but two days later, they were sleeping together. And then he was gone.

  She drew in a quick breath, angry with herself for reliving the past.

  Gabe turned his head, and this time, she didn’t look away. This was her dinner table; he was the one who should look away first. But Gabe couldn’t walk away from a battle, not even one as small as this.

  “Mom, are you listening?” Justin interrupted.

  She started. Judging by the annoyed look in her son’s eyes, he’d been talking to her for a while. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Will you take me to Five Arrows Point for my birthday?”

  She shouldn’t have been surprised by his question. His tenth birthday was coming up, and going to Five Arrows Point was a rite of passage for the boys in River Rock. Rob had promised Justin that he would take him—another promise unfulfilled.

  Her father saw her discomfort and jumped in. “She can’t, Justin. She doesn’t know where it is.”

  Actually, she knew exactly where it was, but she wasn’t about to share that with her father. Five Arrows Point was sacred male territory.

  “Why don’t you know?” Justin asked.

  “Because girls aren’t allowed there,” her father answered for her. “It’s a place where a boy becomes a man, where in the ancient times braves became warriors.”

  “Uncle Rob said he was going to take me.” Justin’s lower lip started to tremble. “On my tenth birthday. He said that’s when all the Hayden boys go.”

  Alicia’s heart ached at the sadness in her little boy’s eyes. She wanted to make things right, but that was impossible.

  “I wish I could take you,” her father said with regret. “Give me a few more weeks, Justin, and we’ll go there together.”

  Justin didn’t look reassured. To an almost-ten-year-old, her father looked like an old, feeble man who could barely walk down the hall, much less maneuver a raft down the rapids to Five Arrows Point.

  “What’s the legend?” Gabe asked curiously.

  She glanced at her dad. “Do you want to tell it?”

  Her father’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. “Before the West was settled, the Native Americans lived by the river. One of their tribal legends is about a sacred place where braves were tested for courage, endurance, and strength, among other things. Along the way, they would collect five special arrowheads, each designating the completion of a challenge.”

  “What were the challenges?” Keith asked.

  “Running the river was one, finding their way through the woods was another, fighting off wild animals, dealing with the cold in the winter and the extreme heat in summer, and climbing a rock wall to get to the top of the canyon,” George said in his storytelling voice. “Most of the young men failed in the last climb. Some fell to the river and died. According to legend, ghosts sometimes steer boats away from that fork of the river, keeping the secret for only those who are worthy.”

  “Did you see any ghosts?” Justin asked, his eyes bright with curiosity.

  “No, but your Uncle Rob did. He said the ghost had war paint on his face. I wish I’d seen him, but when I looked, he was gone.”

  “That sounds cool,” Justin said. “I want to go.”

  “Don’t get too excited,” Alicia warned, wanting to bring some reality back to the conversation. “The arrowheads are long gone.”

  “How would you know?” Gabe asked, a small smile playing around the corners of his lips. “I thought you were excluded because you’re a girl.”

  “Almost every guy in town has looked for them, and no one has ever found one.”

  “One was found about thirty years ago,” her father said. “The thing is, Five Arrows Point is on a stretch of river with many different forks winding through the foothills and canyons. No one really knows for sure the exact location. There’s a common drop-off point where most people start who don’t go there in a boat.”

  “And every other year or so, some kid gets lost out there, and there’s a big search and rescue,” Alicia said. “It’s a legend that should have ended a long time ago.”

  “I bet I could find an arrowhead,” Justin said confidently.

  Her father smiled at Justin. “You’ll have your day. Don’t worry.”

  “If my dad were around, he could take me,” Justin said, sending her a pointed look.

  She sighed. There was nothing she could do about that. Justin’s father had left a long time ago. Looking for a distraction, she said, “Who wants ice cream?” After taking orders, she got up from the table and headed into the kitchen.

  Keith followed her, bringing along some empty plates. “Are you all right?” he asked quietly. “You seem a little on edge.”

  “I’m hanging in there. It’s been a rough year.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  “You’re doing it.” Keith had been a rock since Rob’s death. “I hope you know how much I appreciate your support.”

  He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “I wish I could do more, but you’re a very independent woman.”

  “Not that independent. You can scoop some ice cream,” she said, handing him the half-gallon container of mint chocolate chip.

  “Done.”

  While Keith served dessert, she cleaned up the kitchen. When the boys were done eating, Keith headed home with David to finish a science project, and Justin disappeared into his room, leaving Gabe and her father at the dining-room table. Her dad seemed to enjoy talking to Gabe, and why not? Most everyone else in town had already heard his stories; Gabe was fresh meat.

  She went down the hall to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her so that she could no longer hear their voices. Her bedroom had always been her escape, the one room in the house that wasn’t dominated by male stuff. She’d gone a little overboard on the half-dozen pillows that decorated her full-sized bed, the frilly curtains at her windows, the scented candles and art photographs that she’d purchased at the local art fair. She’d grown up a tomboy, spending days on the river, camping under the stars, catching fish, throwing footballs with her brother and her friends, but when the day was done, she’d always come home to this sweet, relaxing quiet.

  She lit a couple of candles and sat on the bed, trying to find some calm, but she was very aware of Gabe just down the hall. She needed to forget about him. Keith was the man in her life now, and she could count on him. He wouldn’t break her heart, and he wouldn’t suddenly leave. Justin liked him, too, and Justin and David were as close as brothers. Her son really wanted and needed a father figure in his life, especially now that Rob was gone.

  Sighing, she flopped onto her back. She’d never made good choices when it came to men.

  She’d met Justin’s father, Connor, when she was eighteen years old. She’d been waiting tables at Mullaney’s during the summer music festival, and Connor had been the lead singer in a band. She’d fallen for his love songs and gotten pregnant just after her nineteenth birthday. Her father had been disappointed in her, but she’d tried to make it work. She’d moved in with Connor for a year and a half. To his credit, Connor had tried, too, but he was twenty-one years old and a musician. He didn’t want to be tied down.
Eventually, he’d taken off with his band, and aside from a few e-mails now and then and the occasional random present showing up for Justin, Connor had been completely absent from her son’s life.

  She wouldn’t make that mistake again. She wouldn’t let Justin get attached to someone who wasn’t going to stick around.

  She got up and tidied her room in an effort to get rid of the restlessness coursing through her body. Soon the room was clean, but she was still on edge.

  She went down the hall to check on Justin, who was on the computer with his headphones on. She waved to get his attention. “Fifteen minutes, then bed,” she said.

  He nodded. “Okay.”

  The odd expression on his face made her pause. “Is everything all right?”

  He hesitated and then said, “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home on your birthday? I don’t have to sleep over at David’s.”

  She smiled and walked across the room to give him a big hug. “I love you so much. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And what would make me really happy on my birthday is for you to go to David’s and have a great time.”

  “But you’ll be alone.”

  “I won’t be alone. Grandpa will be here.”

  “He’s not very much fun,” Justin said with a doubtful look in his eyes.

  “Don’t worry about me. It’s going to be okay.”

  After closing Justin’s door, she returned to the living room. Her father was in his recliner in front of the television, where he spent most of his life these days. He’d always been an active, physical man, and it was difficult to see him so sedentary. But in time, she hoped, that would change.

  “Did Gabe leave?” she asked, noting the empty room with relief.

  “He went to Rob’s house. Apparently, he’s moving in there.”

  She sat down on the edge of the couch. “Gabe can’t have Rob’s house, Dad. It belongs to the family.”