The Way Back Home Read online

  A plump, energetic woman with platinum-blond hair and a friendly smile, Nora greeted her with a big, tight hug. “There you are. I was wondering when I was going to see you. Your mother said she sent you off early to do some errands.”

  “Yes, I was planning to help you make breakfast, but Mom had other ideas.”

  “She’s stressed out about her surgery and trying not to think about it by making up things for us to do,” Nora said. “But we only had a few guests this morning, anyway. We have three couples checking in this afternoon, though, so it will get busier this weekend.”

  “Good. I’m ready to work.”

  “So you don’t have to think, either,” Nora said with a wise smile. “You take after your mother in that regard.”

  “And because I want to help. I know you didn’t really want to come back full-time, and I feel bad that you got thrown into it when I moved to Sacramento.”

  Nora waved a dismissive hand. “It was fine. That RV was getting too small, anyway. Russell and I were starting to get on each other’s nerves, not that I don’t still adore the man. I got lucky the second time around.”

  “You did. And I’m glad that you’re okay with being the chef here again, because you know I’m not staying here permanently.” She wanted to make that perfectly clear.

  “That’s what your mother said, but we’re both hoping you might change your mind. This is your home. People here love you.”

  “I can’t do it, Nora. I can’t walk around town and go to all the places Brian and I went to together. It just reminds me of everything I lost.”

  “I understand,” Nora said with compassion. “But I also know one thing for sure: you can run away from everything and everyone, but you can’t run away from yourself.”

  “I’m not running away. I’m starting over. There’s a difference.”

  “There is a difference. But until you deal with Alicia, you’ll never be able to truly start over. You should have come back for Rob’s funeral, honey.”

  She felt a sharp twinge of guilt. “I thought about coming, but there would have been drama, and the Haydens didn’t need that.” She let out a breath. “I can’t believe Rob didn’t make it back. He was so close to getting out. He wrote to me just a week before he died.”

  Nora’s gaze sharpened. “Really? I didn’t know you were keeping in touch with Rob.”

  “He wanted me to make peace with Alicia. I told him that wasn’t going to happen.” She paused. “I saw Alicia in town. She was at the hardware store picking up equipment. I can’t believe she’s thinking of taking more people out on the river. How can she do that?”

  “It’s their family business, Kelly. George Hayden isn’t going to give up his life’s work because of an accident.”

  “It wasn’t an accident. It was carelessness. It was something,” she said, still not really sure exactly what had happened, but everyone who’d been out there that day seemed to think the Haydens were responsible in some way.

  “Well, Alicia has a boy to raise, and she has to make money somehow.”

  Her heart softened as she thought about Justin. She was his godmother. She’d been at Alicia’s side through the eighteen-hour labor. She’d held Justin when he was only a few minutes old. Until six months ago, she’d been a huge part of his life. “How is Justin?”

  “Getting bigger. Looking more like Rob every day. And missing his Aunt Kelly, I’ll bet. I doubt he understands why you’ve disappeared.”

  “I’m sure Alicia has explained it to him.” She sighed. “I don’t want to be here, Nora. It’s easier when I’m away. I don’t have to worry about who I’m going to run into when I walk down the street.”

  “You can’t avoid dealing with Alicia forever. You two need to have it out.”

  “We can’t get past the fact that Brian died on her boat. No amount of talking will change that.”

  Nora shook her head. “You are one stubborn girl. You two need each other now more than you ever did. You lost your fiancé. She lost her brother. Two very important men in your lives.”

  “But I wasn’t responsible for Rob dying, and she was responsible for Brian’s death. She was his guide! She was supposed to make sure he was okay.”

  “White-water rafting is dangerous, Kelly. Brian knew that.”

  “No, he didn’t. He thought it was like a roller-coaster ride. You get on, and you’re scared, but you don’t think you’re going to die.” She raised a hand. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m just here to cook for our guests and take care of Mom. As soon as things get back to normal, I’m going back to Sacramento and to my new life. So, what’s on the dinner menu?”

  “Lamb kebabs with wild rice and fresh asparagus.”

  “Great.” She grabbed an apron out of the cupboard and put it on. She felt better as she got into cooking mode. The kitchen was under her complete and utter control, unlike the rest of her life. But as she pulled out pots and pans and moved between the refrigerator and the stove, she was taken back in time to the last time she’d made dinner there, the night before Brian’s accident.

  Her bridesmaids had come over to try on their dresses, and she’d made angel-hair pasta with fresh vegetables from Alicia’s garden. They’d drunk red wine and talked and laughed.

  Pain ripped through her. She wanted to stop hurting. But it wasn’t just Brian she’d lost; it was also Alicia. And deep, deep down inside, in the secret place in her heart, she wasn’t sure which was more painful. And the guilt of that knowledge made it even worse.

  Five

  It took Gabe an hour and a half to walk the entire town of River Rock, and he found it more interesting than he’d anticipated. The town had a lot of character and history. But he wasn’t there to sightsee. He needed information. The line in front of Burt’s Diner was three deep as the lunch crowd descended on the restaurant, so he decided to grab a beer at Mullaney’s. The dark interior was filled with flat-screen TVs, big oak tables, and bench seats occupied mostly by men. He stepped up to the bar and ordered a beer and a burger from a twentysomething redheaded bartender named Cassie.

  “Coming right up,” she said. A moment later, she set down his beer. “You’re not from around here.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I know just about everyone in River Rock.”

  “No, I’m not from around here.”

  “So, are you passing through?”

  “Not sure yet.”

  “Well, aren’t you the man of mystery,” she said with a smile. A sudden light came into her eyes. “Wait a minute. You’re from Wild River Tours, aren’t you? You didn’t get those biceps pushing paper around a desk.”

  “I didn’t get them at Wild River Tours. Isn’t that a rafting company?”

  “They offer all kinds of extreme sports. I’ve heard they’re expanding into River Rock, hoping to take over the river runs. I sent in a résumé, but no one has called me.”

  “What kind of job are you looking for?”

  “I can handle a raft, and I know the best fishing on the Smoky River. I also rock climb. There are some great cliff walls about fifteen miles from here.”

  “You sound like you have a lot of talents, so why are you working here?”

  “My cousin owns the place. He needed help. I needed money.” As she moved down the bar to take another order, Gabe saw Keith approaching the bar.

  “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said.

  “Just picking up my lunch,” Keith replied. “We have parent-teacher conferences this week and next, so I called in my order. I need to gather my strength.”

  “They’re tough on you, huh?”

  “Some are, usually the ones who are feeling guilty for having no idea what their kid has been doing the last few months. What are you up to today?”

  “Just checking out the town.” He wanted to dislike Keith for a lot of reasons, most of which had to do with the fact that Alicia liked him, but Keith’s nice-guy attitude wasn’t making that easy. />
  “It’s good you’re here,” Keith said, surprising him. “Alicia was really shaken up by Rob’s death, and it’s difficult for her to talk about him with me because I never met him. And her dad doesn’t like to talk about Rob because it’s too painful. She’s kind of on her own, and I don’t think she’s handling it as well as she pretends to be.”

  Gabe nodded, not really sure what to say.

  “I just wish she could persuade her dad to give up the business. I wasn’t around last year when the accident happened, but it’s still fresh in people’s minds, especially with the season approaching, and no one seems very happy that the Haydens are planning to go back out on the river.”

  “You think they should quit?”

  “I think Alicia would be just as happy growing vegetables in her garden instead of braving the white water.”

  He wondered if that were really true. Alicia had to have had a core of fearlessness to run the river all these years. That kind of thrill seeking didn’t just vanish. She was afraid now, but burying that fear in a garden wasn’t the best idea. She needed to face her fear, to take it down, or it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

  “She has to find a way to stand up to her father, which won’t be easy,” Keith continued. “George loves the river. Never seen a man so passionate about anything. I don’t understand it.”

  “I admire his sense of purpose. He knows what he wants, and he goes after it.”

  “Sometimes at the expense of his family. Alicia has lost a lot of friends. I worry about her and Justin, too. David says the kids at school say mean things to him.”

  Gabe frowned, hating the thought of little Justin getting bullied because of what sounded to him like an accident. Another reason he needed to find out what had really happened.

  Keith paid for his lunch, then said, “I’ll see you around, Gabe.”

  “I’m sure you will,” he replied as Keith walked away.

  “You’re friends with Keith?” Cassie asked curiously.

  “We met last night.”

  “And he called you Gabe?”

  “Yes. Gabe Ryder.”

  Surprise flashed in her eyes. “You’re Gabe Ryder, Rob’s best friend. I was wondering why you didn’t come to the funeral. He used to talk about you all the time when he was home.”

  “Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it to the service.”

  “We all miss Rob so much,” she said, her eyes a little too bright. “He used to sit just where you’re sitting and shoot the breeze with me. What a good guy.”

  “He really was.”

  “I’ll get you your burger,” she said.

  While he was waiting for his food, he glanced around the room, noting a familiar face at one of the booths. It was the man he’d seen with Kelly earlier, Brian’s brother. He was seated with another guy about his age, and he was talking a lot, gesturing every now and then. Gabe wondered if he was always pissed off, or if there was something about this day that was annoying him, because he’d seemed just as aggressive with Kelly earlier. Maybe it was anger at losing his brother that made him seem so intense.

  Gabe could understand that. He’d been living with that inner rage, that sense of injustice, since Rob had died. But he couldn’t give in to his emotions. He had to hold it together for Rob’s sake and for Alicia’s.

  How he was going to help them, he had no idea. Maybe Alicia would be happier giving up the business. Would saving it help her or just keep her chained to a company that had become a huge weight around her shoulders?

  Rob had always spoken about the business with fondness. Then again, Rob had rarely worked the river; he’d just enjoyed it. And when he’d been home, Rob had been treated very well. Gabe had seen that firsthand when he’d come home with Rob that Christmas. George and Alicia had catered to him like he was a visiting king. And Rob had lapped it up.

  He’d lapped it up, too, he thought somewhat guiltily. He’d never had a family to come home to, no one who was worrying about whether he would make it out alive. He’d enjoyed their attention, especially Alicia’s. God, she was pretty, he thought with a sigh. A little bit battered by life now, but she still had a light in her eyes. Keith was a lucky guy.

  “Hey, Cass, where’s our beer?” Russ bellowed as he came up to the bar. His step was unsteady, his tie slightly askew, his button-down shirt creeping out of his slacks.

  “I’m getting them,” Cassie called back. “You’re drinking a lot for lunch, aren’t you, Russ?”

  “I’m thirsty,” he said. He caught Gabe staring and gave him a belligerent look. “I saw you before with Alicia.”

  “He’s Rob’s friend,” Cassie cut in.

  “Yeah, well, you can give Alicia a message for me. Stay the hell off the river, or she’ll be sorry.”

  Gabe got to his feet, happy to top the other man by about three inches. “Let me give you a message. You threaten her again, and you’ll be sorry.”

  “She deserves to be threatened. That bitch is a goddamned murderer.”

  The rage that had been simmering for weeks exploded, and Gabe smashed his fist into Russell’s face. The other guy stumbled but then came back swinging. His first shot missed, but the second connected with the right side of Gabe’s jaw. He was about to hit back when someone grabbed his arm. Russ’s friend did the same to Russ.

  “That’s enough,” Russ’s friend said. “This isn’t going to solve anything.”

  Gabe shook his arm away from the large man who’d grabbed it.

  “You should go,” the guy told him. “Now.”

  He hesitated a second, then headed toward the door. Shit! So much for his campaign to win over the town. He’d wanted to help Alicia, but he’d just made things worse.

  Alicia spent most of the day in the office doing paperwork, updating their Web site, leaving messages for river guides, and ordering supplies. Despite being busy, she couldn’t keep her mind off Gabe, wondering where he was, what he was doing. Checking her watch, she saw that it was almost two, and he’d been gone for hours.

  After a few more minutes of restless work, she got up and headed out the door. She went up the hill and across the grass, cutting through the thicket of trees that separated the two properties. Gabe’s truck was parked where it had been the night before, and as she approached the steps, she saw movement inside. He was back.

  She didn’t bother to knock, just turned the knob and walked in. Gabe was standing by the sink with a towel pressed to his face, a scowl on his lips.

  “What happened to you?”

  “Nothing,” he ground out. “It doesn’t look like nothing.”

  “I walked into a tree branch.”

  She walked over to him and pulled the towel away from his face. His right eye was swelling. “You walked into someone’s fist.”

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “Are you kidding me? You got into a fight. Did you hit someone, too?”

  “He deserved it.” There was not a speck of remorse in Gabe’s dark eyes.

  “You were supposed to charm the people in town.”

  “Yeah, well, this one was a lost cause.”

  “Who was it?”

  “Brian’s brother. The one who was with Kelly earlier.”

  “Russell?” she asked with a sinking heart. “You fought Russ? Why?”

  “He was drunk.”

  “That’s crazy. He’s a real estate broker. It’s the middle of the day.”

  “He was drunk,” Gabe repeated. “And angry.”

  She gave him a long look, reading between his very short lines. “He said something about me.”

  “He was an asshole.”

  “You need ice,” she said, opening the fridge. She took the towel from Gabe, grabbed a few cubes, rolled them up, and handed it back to him. “Tell me what he said.”

  “He doesn’t want you to reopen your business,” he said, pressing the ice pack against his face with a wince.

  “Well, that’s nothing new. He lost his brother.”
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br />   “That doesn’t mean he has the right to threaten you.”

  “He threatened me?”

  “He won’t be doing that again,” Gabe replied.

  She frowned. “I appreciate the defense, but fighting with Russ isn’t going to help.”

  “You can’t let him bully you.”

  “I’m not going to let him bully me.” She paused. “How did you get back here?”

  “Some trucker gave me a ride down the highway. I walked the rest of the way. What are you staring at?” he asked, shifting the ice on his face.

  “You. Most of the time, you’re so controlled. I can see the tension in your body, your face, as if you’re afraid to relax, but then other times you’re … completely different.” She ran her tongue across her suddenly dry lips, remembering how passionate he’d been with her, how completely out of control they’d both been.

  Desire glittered in his eyes, as if his mind was taking the same walk down memory lane.

  A knock at the door startled them both.

  “I’ll get it,” she said. She was surprised to see Cassie on the porch with a brown paper bag in her hands. “Hi, Cassie.”

  “Oh, hey, Alicia. I didn’t know you were here,” Cassie said, glancing past her to Gabe. “I brought you your lunch, Gabe. You didn’t get to eat it earlier. Actually, I had the cook make you up another burger,” she added, sliding around Alicia.

  “That was nice of you,” Gabe said, taking the bag from her hands.

  “I was so impressed at how you stood up to Russell,” she added, her gaze filled with admiration. “He was way out of line.”

  Alicia felt an unexpected twinge of jealousy at Cassie’s flirtatious smile.

  “I could have handled it better,” Gabe said.

  “I think you handled it perfectly.” Cassie looked at Alicia. “You should have seen him take on Russell. Rob would have been proud. Anyway, I have to get back to work, but if you need someone to show you around town, you know where to find me.”

  “I might take you up on that,” he said.