Critical Doubt Read online

  "I feel exactly the same way."

  "I just want to help her, but I honestly don't know what to do. I can't imagine anything I could say would help her."

  "Probably not." He paused. "Did you two become friends when you moved to Dobbs?"

  "Yes. She was my thirteen-year-old lifeline. The first day at my new school, I sat next to her in math, and she must have seen my terrified, lost look and decided I was a stray puppy who needed a home. She introduced me to her friends. She invited me over to her house the next day. Abby helped me survive that first year after losing my mom and having to move to a new family. If I hadn't had her, I feel like I would have spiraled out of control."

  "I don't think that would have happened," he said quietly. "You are made of steel, Savannah, which doesn't mean you can't also be incredibly soft and caring and have deep, deep emotions, but there's a core of strength in you that makes you a survivor."

  She drew in a shaky breath. "That's a very nice thing to say. I just wish I could give Abby some of my strength."

  "You will. You'll be there for her the way she was there for you. And it won't be about this one night, it will be about tomorrow and next week and next year. Whatever happens with Paul, she won't lose you."

  "No, she won't." She let out a sigh. "I feel so restless. I don't know what to do with myself."

  "How about some food? Not more coffee, because you are clearly wired, but we haven't eaten since the chowder hours ago."

  "I'm not hungry, but you should go down to the cafeteria and get something."

  "Maybe later. I'll hang with you."

  She sat down next to him. "One thing I thought was interesting was that the explosion and the gunshots didn't trigger your bells. You jumped into action both times."

  "That's a good point," he said thoughtfully. "I didn't have time to think; I just acted. I guess I didn't give my brain a chance to flip out."

  "Or your brain wants action and when you take it, it thinks you're going down the right track."

  "Are we back to the bells trying to tell me something?"

  "I do still believe that."

  "You could be right," he conceded. "Maybe the missing clue is stuck in my head."

  "Eventually, it will come out."

  "It has been nine months."

  "But you've been running from the bells. Maybe you have to find a way to stop and listen."

  "It's not always bells or noises; sometimes it's light—blinding light—like a flash bang, an explosion, a burst of gunfire."

  She stared back at him. "Is that what you saw that night? Blinding light?"

  "I don't remember the light, but I remember the gunfire, the explosions, the sight of Carlos falling right in front of me." As soon as he saw the image in his head, a dull beat began to sound in his ears. He wanted to run away. He wanted to block it out. But maybe Savannah was right. He had to stand his ground.

  But as a trio of people entered the waiting room, the noises faded. Savannah was on her feet, hugging each one of them. The cavalry had arrived.

  And with them, the noise in his head receded.

  Savannah introduced him to Parisa first, a beautiful brunette with long dark-brown hair, olive skin, and brown eyes. She'd brought along an overnight bag for Savannah, saying she wasn't sure if she had a change of clothes, but if not, she could at least get through the night with what she'd brought.

  Next was Parisa's fiancé Jared MacIntyre. Jared was a stocky guy with rugged features, brown hair, and green eyes. And the third man was Jax Kenin, a tall, blond man, with penetrating blue eyes, who wore a very expensive suit. They looked more like a group of friends than FBI and CIA agents.

  But then it was on to business.

  Parisa had found a conference room on the second floor for them to gather, so they went downstairs to discuss their next moves. Parisa was bringing in security, working with the hospital and local police to ensure Paul's continuing safety if he made it through surgery. The security would also include Abby and her mother when they arrived. Flynn and someone named Wyatt were checking cameras near the bagel shop and attempting to track the path of Paul's phone over the last few days.

  And then Savannah took over, filling the others in on all the information they had so far.

  Hearing her lay it all out in a pragmatic, logical fashion wasn't easy. This was just another case for her team, but for him, it was extremely personal. These men they were talking about were his friends, his brothers, men he'd spent years with. At one time, he'd known everything about them. Now they seemed like strangers.

  But they were definitely not acting like the men he'd once known. Those men had been loyal, fierce patriots. They'd fought for their country. They'd been heroes.

  What were they now? Three more of them were either dead or ghosts, and Mason was still a question mark.

  As the discussion continued, he could see that the team was starting to buy into the idea that all the men had become ghosts to carry out some plan that Paul had finally realized was a lie. They were putting a lot of stock into the pain-addled comment that had come out of his mouth. With that assumption came the idea that these men were planning to do something so bad that they'd had to leave their families, their friends, their homes and become ghosts in order to do it. Since they were all very well-trained soldiers, that plan could be horrifically bad. Unfortunately, while there were a lot of wild theories, they really had no idea what the men might be thinking, and it bothered him that he couldn't figure it out. Because he knew them the best. He should be able to get inside their heads and see the plan.

  But he was still at a loss. Maybe it was good there were more people involved now, people who would not be swayed by emotion and personal history. He had to admit he was impressed with the speed and dedication at which Savannah's team had jumped in. They were covering all the angles, throwing out possible scenarios and then examining those possibilities with sharp precision. Jared was even texting back and forth with a CIA source who was trying to get information on the ambush. And then there was Jax.

  Jax had taken a secondary role in the meeting, but he had the sharp, watchful gaze of a man who didn't miss a thing. In fact, Jax had given him quite an assessing look, as if he wasn't quite sure he was a victim or if he had some hidden agenda. He didn't know if he looked suspicious or if Jax was being protective toward Savannah. Savannah seemed to share a closer bond with Jax than the other two. He wondered if they'd ever been more than friends and partners. Not that it was his business. Savannah had a history that didn't include him. He had a history that didn't include her.

  But they also had history together. Even more importantly, they had a present. He could hardly believe how fast things had changed since they'd made love on the boat. They should have had more than two hours together. They should have had at least the night or a few more days, several more weeks, maybe longer…

  He sucked in a breath as he realized there might not be another moment. And if that were the case, he should have taken more time. He should have memorized her face. He should have breathed in her scent. He should have made her laugh or cry out with pleasure more times than he had. There should have been more of everything.

  But he couldn't go back in time.

  He'd told himself the same thing the last time he'd woken up alone.

  They were still together now, but the distance was already growing between them, and he didn't know how to bridge it, or even if he should bridge it. He'd almost gotten her killed a couple of times. She was safer now that there were others involved.

  "Jared and I will go back to DC now," Parisa said, drawing his attention back to their conversation. "Jax will hang here with you until you can leave."

  "We don't need a bodyguard," he said sharply.

  Jax flung him a short look. "Considering you both almost died, I'd say you need someone watching your backs."

  Jax might be right, but he didn't want this man taking the job of watching Savannah's back. Since he couldn't say that, he decided
to take a minute. "I'm going to get some coffee," he said, getting to his feet. He didn't really need coffee, but he did need some space. It wasn't just that he needed to wrap his head around the information Jared had provided, it was also that he needed to find a way to tamp down the unexpected jealous anger brewing inside him.

  "What's his problem?" Jax asked as Ryker left the room.

  Savannah was surprised by Ryker's abrupt exit, and the anger she'd seen in his eyes. "He has a lot to deal with," she murmured. "There's a good chance one of his best friends just tried to kill him."

  "And you," Jax put in.

  "Ryker saved my life. And not just tonight, earlier, too. His instincts are good."

  "But he is the odd man out," Parisa said. "If there's a plan, he's not in on it, which is odd, since he was the leader of the team."

  "Ryker would never do anything illegal or anything that would betray his country, so if that's the plan, it makes sense that they left him out. Todd told him right before he allegedly died that they didn't speak the same language anymore, that they weren't on the same page. In retrospect, I think he took that one last opportunity at the funeral to make sure that Ryker should be left out. Todd ranted about the army, about how they deserved more than they'd gotten, how they were shadows of their former selves. He wanted more than a thank-you for your service. But Ryker told him that that's not why any of them joined. It was never about a reward. It was always about fighting for their country."

  "So, now they want to kill him?" Jax asked, a doubtful gleam in his eyes.

  "Paul didn't want to kill him. As I told you, he tried to save us, but they took him out instead. He thought there was just a plan to scare Ryker away, probably because we were going around town asking a lot of questions."

  "They have to be worried now about what Paul will say when he wakes up," Jared interjected.

  "That's why we have to keep him safe."

  "We will," Parisa promised. "Jared and I will head back. With any luck, we can find the bagel shop and wherever these guys have been hiding out. Although, it's doubtful we'll get to speak to anyone tonight. But first thing in the morning, we're on it."

  "And since you don't need a babysitter," Jax said with a smile, "I'll head down to Dobbs later tonight. Tomorrow, I'll talk to the chief there, go by the morgue and the mortuary and see how this fake death might have occurred."

  "Chief Tanner won't crack easily," she said.

  "I'm not worried," Jax said with complete confidence.

  "I really appreciate the help," she said, her gaze encompassing all of them. "But I don't want any of you to jeopardize your own work for me. Parisa, if there's a conflict with your office—"

  "Don't worry," Parisa said, cutting her off. "I already spoke to my boss. He's agreed to let me help. Apparently, Flynn's reputation has once again preceded him. I made it sound like this was for Flynn's unit, which it actually is now, so it's all good."

  "And I'm happy to help off book," Jared added, giving her a smile. "Parisa misses working with you guys, and since that's because I'm holding her hostage in DC, it's the least I can do."

  Parisa put her arm around Jared's waist. "You're not holding me hostage. I'm where I want to be."

  "But still…" he said, giving her a knowing smile.

  "It is nice to be back in the loop," Parisa admitted.

  "Well, your assistance is invaluable," she said, giving them both a hug before they left.

  As they departed, Jax stayed behind. "What's his deal, Savannah?"

  "Are you talking about Ryker again?" she asked, not sure she liked the gleam in Jax's blue eyes.

  "Yeah. What's he to you?"

  "He's a friend of Paul's, and I'm a friend of Paul's wife. That's how we started working on this together. I thought I explained all that."

  "You did, but it's a load of crap. That man wants you. He didn't leave to get coffee. He left because he was pissed off at me for wanting to stay with you. So, what's really going on?"

  "Nothing."

  "Savannah, come on. You know what I do. I watch and I listen. There was a lot going on between you and Stone that was not being spoken aloud."

  She could see that her story was quickly falling apart, so she opted for the truth. "We met five years ago. We had a one-night stand. I didn't know who he was. He didn't know who I was. It was before I joined the FBI."

  "And the first time you saw him again—"

  "Was at the funeral. I had learned by then he was in Paul's unit, but our paths had never crossed."

  "Hell of a way to reunite. And now? What's going on?"

  "We've gotten closer," she admitted. "How could we not? We've been tied together the last couple of days. When this is over, he'll go his way and I'll go mine. No regrets."

  "You sure about that?"

  "Pretty sure. My job is on the other side of the country."

  "What about his job? He's a fisherman, isn't he? We have fish in California."

  She shrugged. "We're not making plans. And I don't think he left because he was jealous of you, Jax. He's dealing with the betrayal of his friends and that's rough."

  "It is rough. But at least one of his friends didn't betray him. He saved him—and you."

  "I'm relieved that Paul didn't go completely bad. I always liked him. And my friend loves him. I don't want him to have done anything really horrible. I hope he hasn't, but I don't know."

  "We'll get answers."

  "Flynn told you to stay and help me, didn't he?"

  "He didn't have to tell me. As soon as I heard what was going on, I volunteered." He paused. "I have to admit I kind of like that Stone is jealous of me."

  "He is not jealous of you. And you have never been interested in me."

  "Only because I don't like to get in line."

  "Very funny. But getting back to business, what do you think about all this, Jax? You have fantastic instincts. And you're objective."

  "It's complicated," he said, a serious note in his voice. "These guys have gone to a lot of trouble to disappear. Whatever they're up to must have a big payoff." He paused. "I'm going to need some food before I find my way to Georgia. Why don't you join me in the cafeteria? I'm starving. You must be hungry, too."

  She laughed. For a man with not an ounce of fat, Jax could eat like no one else. "You are always hungry, Jax."

  "Food fuels the mind. You should remember that."

  "I need to find Ryker first." She paused, wondering if she should tell Jax about Ryker's issues with noise.

  Jax gave her a thoughtful look. "Something you want to tell me about Stone before we meet up with him?"

  She debated one more second and then said, "No. We're good. Let's find him and then we'll get some food."

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ryker didn't feel much like eating but after Savannah and Jax had tracked him down in the waiting room, he'd felt compelled to join them in the cafeteria. He'd managed a few bites of turkey chili, but the thought of anything else turned his stomach. The longer the surgery took, the more he worried that Paul would never wake up, that he'd die for real this time. He couldn't stand that thought. Not just because what he knew would die with him, but because he'd be gone, and that wasn't right.

  He didn't know what Paul and the others were up to, and maybe he shouldn't feel one ounce of sympathy or worry for them, especially since at least one of them had wanted him dead. But until he knew who was behind the attacks on him and Savannah, he had to hope it wasn't one of his guys, that it was someone else, someone who didn't know him personally, who hadn't been such an important person in his life.

  "Ryker?"

  Savannah's voice finally penetrated. He saw both her and Jax giving him quizzical looks.

  "Sorry? What did you ask me?"

  He could see that she wanted to ask him if he was all right, but she was trying very hard not to do that. "I'm fine, just thinking," he told her.

  "I'm going to get some ice cream," Jax said. "Anyone need anything?"

  He s
hook his head.

  "No, thanks," Savannah said.

  Once Jax had left the table, he added, "The bells are quiet. You don't have to worry."

  "I'm glad. What are you thinking about?"

  "Everything," he said with a shrug.

  "The surgery should be over soon."

  "It will probably be tomorrow before we can talk to him."

  "At least we'll know if he's going to make it until tomorrow."

  "That's true."

  She licked her lips, giving him a hesitant look. Then she said, "Does Jax bother you?"

  "No. Why?"

  "You haven't had much to say since he got here."

  "I don't think we need a babysitter, but he's your friend and coworker, so if he wants to make sure you're protected, I have nothing to say. I'm sure you feel safer with him here."

  "Really?" she asked. "That's what you have to say?"

  "What?" he challenged.

  "Why don't you like him? You don't even know him."

  "Who said I don't like him?"

  "I'm saying it now."

  "He's fine. Can we drop it?"

  "Yes," she said. "But just for the record, we don't need a babysitter, and Jax is heading down to Dobbs later tonight."

  "Oh."

  "He's going to shake down Tanner and see what else he can find out. We need someone to do that."

  "We do." His gaze moved over to the ice cream station where Jax was making a hell of a sundae. "Did you two ever hook up?" The question came out before he could stop it. "Forget it. You don't have to answer that."

  "I know I don't," she said, drawing his attention back to her. "But I will. No. We've never been anything but friends. Jax is not my type, and I'm not his."

  "Are you kidding me, Savannah? You are every man's type."

  "Well, I'll take that as a compliment but my answer still stands. Not that you had a right to ask the question."